My husband invited me to a business dinner with a Japanese client. I stayed quiet and let him believe I didn’t understand the language. Then I heard something that made my whole body go cold. For twelve years, I believed my marriage was steady. Not passionate, not dramatic, but dependable. We owned a neat townhouse in Mountain View, had two respectable careers, a shared digital calendar, and a life that looked successful from the outside. We were the kind of couple people assumed had it figured